- obedience
-
a quality which delineates the finest of dogs and brides.
- Objectivism
-
a modern theory of ethics stating that the highest moral value is to be found in the objective—best summed up by its anonymous antecedent: the ends justify the means.
see also objectivist and Ayn Rand.
- objectivist
- 1.
one who objects.
- 2.
one who is objective to the point of becoming objectionable.
more at Objectivism.
- oblige
-
to leave an opening or reveal a weakness; to empower another for the abuse of one’s trust.
- obscure
- 1.
majenta.
- 2.
self-reference; as in a joke on a magazine in the magazine itself.
- 3.
Ambrose Bierce’s “Devil’s Dictionary” published on such and such a date, later recalled by such and such Internet authors.
- 4.
round about, unnoticed self-denigration.
- 5.
Gwinnett.
- odd
- 1.
thinking twice about information received on mainstream television news.
- 2.
thinking at all about the motives of one’s government.
- 3.
asking what the price of an item is, and then choosing whether or not to buy the item according to the price.
- official
- 1.
typed or printed, as opposed to handwritten.
- 2.
fake; meatless; pretense of meaning or status; academic.
- old age
- 1.
the nearly final stage of life, when a being is no longer capable of activity, apart from vocal criticism and unconscious manipulation.
- 2.
the opposite of New Age, though equally vague and nonsensical.
more at New Age.
- on the lam
-
fleeing to evade capture; not to be confused with the Scottish expression, “on the lamb.”
- onanism
- 1.
the habitual touching of one’s self.
- 2.
the habitual reading of one’s poetry.
- one-trick-pony
- 1.
colloquial phrase used to describe anyone who is named Pauly Shore.
- 2.
a consistently accurate label to place on those celebrities you find on the cover of “People.”
- 3.
a consistently accurate label to place on most any celebrity.
- Onion
-
a thing in many layers, all of which are identical in form and quality, ever diminishing in substance as you continue along.
- online privacy
- 1.
the check is in the mail.
- 2.
I love you.
- 3.
I won’t come in your mouth.
- OPEC
-
a wrestling maneuver in which a barbaric misogynist can secure in hand the testicles of a larger and more sophisticated opponent.
- open thread
-
a blogosphere burnout mainstay which generously combines the sentiments, “I’ve got nothing,” with, “You jerks go ahead and fill up another page for my Google ads in the meanwhile, okay.”
- opening
-
free Australian wine and crackers made of European chalk at the center of some sort of poorly decorated living room or another.
- oral sex
- 1.
a friendly gesture.
- 2.
an executive privilege.
- oreo
-
derogatory term describing one who is black on the outside and fluffy and creamy on the inside.
- orgasm
-
in men, a brief affectation of love; in women, an infrequent but somewhat more durable facsimile.
- original
-
unwanted; unnecessary; extraneous.
- original sin
-
the bitter and persistent aftertaste of knowledge.
- originality
-
well disguised plagiarism.
- Oscar
-
a golden bon mot that requires a production company to manufacture, an academy to deliver, a press to laud, a public to validate, and a lifetime to earn.
- ostrich
-
a martial art form from the Chinese animal set, practiced frequently by politicians, businessmen and entertainers; the “Hide Head In Sand” technique must be mastered to the point of instinct.
- overcrowded
- 1.
any public bus, in any major city, the second it hits Chinatown.
- 2.
the New Definitions page of this website.
- ownership
-
an abandoned ship.
compare to friendship.
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